Today, I am thinking about the non-duality that exists in all things. We resist the shifting labels and self-identification because of the fear of losing our hard-won yet false sense of stability. I am considering the idea of musical dynamics as nondualism right before our eyes. I had never considered that. Perhaps the beautiful mystery lies in the “mezzo” dynamics, instead of the opposite poles of extreme dynamics.

In preparation for my first composition, I am also thinking about the function of the 3rd. Historically, it represents the most basic of human understanding. On the most primal level, we decide if something is happy or sad based on the 3rd. When “Orientalist” and “Indianist” music arrived, western composers removed the third, and this removed understanding in western eyes, making us “the other” while also dehumanizing us. That is why you always hear open perfect fifths in this style of music. I would like to compose on the idea of the third, while never arriving at the shell, which is the fifth, for the idea of complete and pure understanding. I am hoping to use my synesthesia and my unique connection to pitch to bring this together. The key of A-major sounds so fresh in my ear. C-sharp would then be the ideal pitch for this new sense of purity.